


Superhero Friends Don't Let Superhero Friends Drink and Talk about Near Death Experiences

by bluerosele



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Drinking & Talking, Drinking to Cope, Drunken Ramblings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, I am a tree of stony sap, I am sap, M/M, Mention of Near Death Experiences, Monologue, Pre-Slash, Sporadic monologue, This is sap, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Still Has Arc Reactor, Tony Stark never not had arc reactor what are you talking about I'm not listening, Tony needs someone to listen who won't fall asleep, Totally not Self Serving Fix-It, self-deprication
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-23
Updated: 2015-05-23
Packaged: 2018-03-31 19:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3989413
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluerosele/pseuds/bluerosele
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steve finds Tony in his lab. Steve find Tony in his lab drinking. Steve doesn't deserve to hear the laments of Tony Stark but Steve is a kind Steve and listens.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Superhero Friends Don't Let Superhero Friends Drink and Talk about Near Death Experiences

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Tony's been through a lot of stuff; (mentions of near death experiences, Afghanistan plot-line, explosions)

Steve probably should've taken the shrouded lab windows as a sign, but curiosity captured the Captain and he doesn't trust Tonys alone in the dark. After knocking ("you don't have to do that cap, you have full access to all these rooms just like--y'know those sitcoms we're showing you? Barge in like that), Jarvis whispers (robots somehow whisper), "Sir, is having an off night Captain Rogers. By protocol I would advise you to avoid the situation all together, for both your sake and his, but to Sir's intellectual misfortune I am avoiding protocol. If I may, I believe he would appreciate your company, and request if you could ascertain the situation. If it were no trouble to you." 

"Of course," Steve says maybe to fast. Steve's still acclimating to the idea that robots are asking for favors, and most of all having friends as robots, but he would never deny a friend help. Besides, even without the request he'd probably break through the glass to make sure Tony's okay. 

The door slides and a faint glow blue directs Steve through the dark. 

There's a faint whir that circles around him, which he can tell is Dummy even without the light and as his eyes (serum services) adjust, he spots Tony slouched over on the couch. Steve must be framed by the dim lights in the outside hall, because Tony perks up waving haphazardly and smiling. Something in Steve's chest constricts. 

"Wooooo Steeeeevee's heeareeee," Tony seems to make a move to stand, and Steve quickly tries to stop because no that will definitely end poorly but Dummy twirls in front of him. Tony falls backwards. "Dummyeee no--don't be a. Don't poop on party--or drop out bolts, I dunno. Doesn't--we like Steve, he draws you good, let him here I want a Steve." Dummy whirls back slowly, but holds his head high as if keeping an eye (camera?) on him. Steve is really beginning to love robots. 

"Stark--" Steve starts, and walks towards the couch.

"No, no, no, nah uh wrong," Steve pauses at Tony's aggressive finger waving. "Not that. I want to--I wanna think we our at least on a pet name basis." When Steve finally sits down, Tony suddenly becomes a drunken octopus and absorbs Steve. "Right, Capsicle?" 

Steve feels nothing, feels absolutely nothing, nope not at all. He--he definitely is not attracted to his team member, friend, and emotionally compromised and Steve should stop thinking he should stop thinking right now-- "Yeah, yeah no sorry, buddy." 

Tony's head rolls (flops) over, next to his ear and Steve might die. "C'mon, Bomb Pop, you can do better than that." 

Steve can't help but scarf out a laugh, "Bomb pop?"

"Like the. Y'know like the, the popsicles. And you're a capsicle. And Bomb Pops are red white and blue and, _America_ ," Tony's voice deepens for emphasis. "And I'd patten your name on it but like Pepper banded me from PA work after the Dr. Pepper Pots release." Trying to stifle another laugh for Ms. Potts sake, he tenses up as Tony, inebriated and without inhibition either way, giggles hard into his neck. Stupid Steve's body responds, but actual Steve breaths deep.

Tony, being Tony and even drunk perceptive as hell, picks up his head and stares at him with eyes Steve swears are bionic with how much they see. "What's wrong? Did I--no I you should go. I'm. Off day I get. I'm not good with the people when--you're good. Don't let me get my" he waves over himself "ugh all over you." 

Steve remembers his mission and maneuvers himself to hold Tony in a more comfortable (on many accounts) way. "I'm fine. I'm good. What's up with you? Off day?" 

Tony blinks. Not much changes in his face, and Steve knows that look. Steve is that look. It's a look that's seen too much, and knows too little about what to do. "Tony, talk to me."  

Tony blinks again, like he can't comprehend what Steve is saying, which might be the scariest thing he's ever experienced with him. Not explosions in the basement, not malfunctioning karaoke systems that chant demonic mantras, but Tony not understanding something, especially something he should've been always known.

"Tony." Steve bumps his forehead against Tony's without thinking about it. But that's all it takes. 

“It wasn’t the wormhole. Well, yeah no it was, that was stupid, but what I mean is...it wasn’t it...itself? I mean, doing life threatening feats that’s sorta my deal, happens every Tuesday. So running into a portal into the outmost reaches of the universe carrying a nuclear bomb, whatever. Blowing up a the ship, killing an entire race of intergalactic species, what started it first mind you...kinda messed with me a little. Yeah. Felt more like my dad then than I ever have. But, still it’s not...I guess, leading up to it--it was so short I watch the footage now that was nothing like what 2 minutes? It felt so long.

People talk about that, how time slows down. And I was always like, 'yeah totally okay sure get where you’re coming from.' I’ve never understood it. Afghanistan, any time I’ve almost died ever, trains running into things, people leaving, whatever else people say somehow affects their time perception, it’s all happened pretty fast. But here...I had enough time to tell myself, to understand I was going to die.No--don’t--there was no question, I get out of a lot of shit, but space shit is what does everybody in, I guess. 

I’m kinda really glad Pepper didn’t answer. I didn’t want to explain it to her. She would’ve told me otherwise, I’d start believing her, and sure otherwise did happen but then there wasn’t an otherwise. Shouldn’t have been--I dunno. Anyway, so going in I get I’m gonna die, I’ve never spent that much time thinking about death--even after everything--than I did leading up to that. I get in and I know I’m dead. I couldn’t focus on that yet, had to make sure missile hit.

Then, it did. I had nothing else to think about. I was dead. From what exactly, didn’t matter, it was going to be somespaceshitsomething. But, see, my brain didn’t want to...it doesn’t get when to just stop. It tells me, right then, it doesn’t matter. Not any philosophy crap about everything being futile, me dying there then now, didn’t matter. And, you know, it was right. Everybody, everything, New York, the world, The Avengers, Iron Man would go on just fine. It would all move on. Which is good, good to move on yeah, healthy emotional stuff, but it had just...been waiting to get me out of the picture. Nothing would be all that affected. Dummy--Dummy might not be okay. But he’s never okay. Besides him...I didn’t have anything.And there, that though, not the open expanse of nothing, made me realize I was alone. Just...alone.

Next thing I know the Hulk’s screaming and I’m awake and not dead and you’re there leaning over me looking so--so happy. Nobody’s ever given me that look. You don’t...but yeah, I don’t remember what I said after that. Schwarma? That was weird. Good but weird. I kinda crave when defying all opposing factors and not dying and stuff. Everyone has a thing. And then Avengers are released, play date’s over, come back next time we’ll make cookies. Bruce stayed over for awhile, science bro-ed it up.

Eventually, Pepper tells me we gotta go back to Malibu. I go, because Pepper actually kinda hates New York and Pepper around anything she hates for too long is--it’s not good. Sad, really. Who hates New York? She goes back to Stark Industries and I, well, I didn’t have anything else going on. Stay-at-home-superhero-boyfriend. Totally not lame at all.

So, I got working. I don’t know I guess I had to prove I had something that depended on me, or maybe I was just really bored, but yeah it got a bit...obsessive. Started hooking myself up to it so it couldn’t leave, couldn’t belong to anyone else. It was mine. Mark 42 almost killed Pepper, because of course I find a way to hurt people in my sleep. Jesus, it was--it was rough.

Then The Mandarin who wasn’t The Mandarin because The Mandarin didn’t actually exist but was some other dude who was a ‘behind the scenes’ The Mandarin--well, no he screamed he was at the end but I think he just wanted to take the cool name--happened. Which, I just wanna go ahead and say one of my evilest super villains being someone I pissed off thirteen years ago for standing up on a science date is just--how come I keep getting all the bitchy villains? I mean, Loki’s pretty bitchy too but he’s go the whole God thing going on. And you--you get a dude with a freakin red skull! What even, I need to consult whatever forces distribute villains, this is getting embarrassing. But, point, there’s a point I think, I blow up everything. Pepper wanted it, I didn’t want her to leave, I can make more, maybe only two this time. Great help that was, she’s...no, she did what she had to I’m not easy to deal with, I can’t deal with myself. Besides, I was hoarding. I kept this, though. As much as I bitch about it sometimes, it’s mine. Stays mine--ow, human Steve, ow I need my fingers--"

Steve jumps when he realizes he's holding Tony's hand too hard. His mouth opens and closes, but he doesn't know what to say, and even if he could there wouldn't be anything. So, Steve rubs Tony's fingers because they should never be hurt. Especially by him. Suddenly, after all that, Tony's face crumbles and Steve realizes he's beyond panicking. 

"You're doing the--" Tony touches his face. "I made you--I didn't mean to. Sad Steve isn't allowed." 

Steve wants to punch a wall and shield Tony away from the world. Steve wants to hug him and tell him how he feels and never let go. Steve can't do that to him, this is about Tony. He loosens his hold but keeps his hand wrapped around Steve's wrist.

"Tony Stark you are not alone."

"Oh, yeah, I know Dummy won't ever let me escape--"

"Tony Stark," Tony looks up and starts to giggle about 'Captain Make the Call Command Voice' but Steve keeps going, "you are not alone. You will never be alone. The Avengers need you, we need you, I need you. Dummy's not the one to worry about." Steve smiles, and Tony smiles back. The smile falls apart and turns into a controlled contortion of an expression. Steve brings his head into his neck so Tony doesn't feel like he's being watched as he cries.

He holds onto Steve's shirt and Steve holds onto him.

 


End file.
